Hypochondria

Somewhere around this time three years ago I experienced my first anxiety attacks. First, I didn't realize what it was. I thought this was somehow a breastfeeding-related issue - I was drastically cutting down on breastfeeding, my breasts were sore, and I remember trying to explain a startled lactation coordinator this horrible feeling of a black cloud suffocating me. Few factors collided to become a trigger for my anxiety - my own health history, my friend's horrible diagnosis, and probably the partial weaning and the following hormonal shitstorm did not help matters as well. Since then, I've became a hypochondriac. I regularly feel symptoms, get scared, go to the doctor, receive simple explanation, breath out, symptoms vanish. I get a few weeks break. And then it starts again. And of course this next time I am completely sure that something is terribly wrong with me.
The recurrent pregnancy loss does not help matters. After three miscarriages, it became obvious that the idea of trying anew creates a new trigger for me. In September, before we were given a go-ahead, I had all kinds of psychosomatic issues - suddenly, my neck hurt, I'd have trouble emptying my bladder, my breasts hurt, etc. It felt like my body was protesting against whatever torture was ahead. In some way, my body was right - I did end up with another chemical pregnancy in October.
So now I started a new cycle and will be trying again soon, and of course my hypochondria is out, surprisingly not in full force, but still it's here and it's loud. Somehow successful pregnancy seems like a cure from it, but I know this is not the case. Rather, it would probably give my anxieties a new focus. Oh well.