Endometriosis

So I emailed my regular ob/gyn (not really in the mood of talking to my RE anymore) re:endometriosis as a possible cause.

She thinks it might be the case.

This just threw me over.

I remember asking her and my RE if endometrioma on my ovary could be the reason for my miscarriages. They all said no it isn't. No one of them fucking elaborated re: endometriosis, which apparently is a given since I have endometrioma as well. No one ever told me that. Until now. I cried and I feel like I was deliberately left to hit the wall for a year for nothing. A fucking year. I cried and kept telling my husband that I COULD HAVE HAD OUR SECOND BABY ALREADY. If only these stupid cows thought a bit more. This is so unfair and so hard. Of course then I Googled and apparently the connection is kinda wonky, and of course the second-opinion-can't-say-anything-against-party-line RE guy emailed me to say that it's not supported by the fucking association of the reproductive assholes or whatever its name is... but it just feels that if I had this surgery a year ago I could have been in a different place right now. Of course truth is that Dr. is not pushing for surgery just yet. And even if he was it would be problematic since we might not have money for it, and our insurance wouldn't cover it, again.

I am also expecting my period and this makes me incredibly sad for so many reasons.